Thoughts.

I had one of these about three years ago before I got a myspace. My myspace is good but I never really had a good place to express my thoughts freely. I always thought that my parents or friends would see what I'm posting and either not understand where I'm coming from or get annoyed because I'd post so many blogs. With this, since it is blogspot, I can just come on and say whatever I thought.

My first blog will be about people and how their attitude about certain things can hurt someone else. When I was in highschool, I was not the brightest crayon in the box, if you know what I mean. I will admit that I was a spaz and I slacked off with my grades and things and I was casually labeled the "drama queen" of my grade. None of that really bothered me until I got out of highschool and started college. I started to re-examine what happened back then to make certain people hate me and others avoid me. I had a really good friend who was nice enough to put up with my stuff and listen when I had a bad day. It wasn't until I got a taste of my own medicine did I realize how utterly stupid I was in highschool.

They say highschool is suppose to be the greatest experience in life. I agree. Though I was a spaz, I had a blast. My senior year was the greatest. I lived it up like any senior would. I just wish I could go back and change some things.

I actually found out from an old friend the reason I was named the drama queen of my grade. I was told I depressed people with my bad days. But what I didn't tell her was that I had a reason for being depressed.

I was discouraged a lot in school. My elementary school was great. It was a quiet little school called Southwest Academy. I was what people considered popular. Well, until my fifth grade year, which was the last year I was there, I began to get made fun of. There was one boy who called me Apple. (My real name is April) The boy I had a crush on basically told me that he wouldn't date me even if I was the last person on earth. And he wasn't nice about it either. He was very mean about it. I was made fun of so bad that my parents actually spoke to the principal about it. Not only that but I didn't have friends anymore. I don't know what I did to make them hate me but I was hurt deeply.

Hearing all of that, my parents pulled me from Southwest Academy and moved to Florence where I started going to Florence Middle School. There was no better. I was still made fun of. But my self esteem was deeply damaged from my experience the year before so, I didn't mingle that well. You've heard of the girl that sits against the wall at recess? Well, that was me. I'd just sit there lonely. No one wanted to be my friend. I was the "new girl" of the school. And I didn't get friends until my 8th grade year. And the only reason I had friends was because I had a boyfriend and his friends hung out with me.

Things got a little better going into highschool. My parents put me at Hillcrest Christian to finish out my education. But still the thought of what happened at both Southwest and Florence haunted me. I had friends but I was still very self conscious about, well, everything. Which was why I came off as the drama queen of my grade. But this leads me to the final phase of this blog.

Although everything happened to me, I became stronger. From my peers and most of my teachers, I was told "you're not good enough", and "you're not gonna amount to anything". Doesn't this usually come from a disappointed parent? This didn't. It came from my teachers and my peers and even the principal and headmaster. Talk about your let down. But you know what? I became a stronger person through all of this. I'm a very good student now in college. I'm working on getting a degree in English and becoming a famous writer and teacher one day. I have a publisher who is interested in reading my work so, I'm that much closer to a career of my dreams.

For my reunion, I won't go back and say, "you said I wouldn't amount to anything. Well look at me now." No, I won't say that. I'll simply stand back and smile. I am a stronger person. I never gave up on what I believed in. I am sad that my years in grade school weren't good but I'm thankful that I had these experiences. Because if I hadn't had all of those things happen, I probably wouldn't be where I am now. I'd probably be chasing a dream that I never wanted.

Here's the lesson I learned. It doesn't matter what people say. I know that I am strong. I know that I am a fighter. People can come up and say all they want. I know who I am on the inside. I know I can't give up. I know that now. I stand up for what I believe in even if others don't. I'm the leader. I'm not the follower. And if people want to talk, let them talk. Who cares? I know who I am. I mean, think about this. If someone came up to me and flat out told me that I had no talent and I'd never make as a writer, do you know what I'd say? I'd tell them to wait and see. Because years from now, I will be the writer I aspire to be. And I will be a stronger person. People can talk. I'll listen. But that doesn't mean they're right. Being right comes from your heart. And if you don't give up, you can accomplish anything.